My friend Father Ben Priest and his
Oratory of the Little Way circa 1971
What I was so attracted to, so drawn to, almost 50 years ago, was someone who loved and trusted his God so deeply and so profoundly that he honored his Lord’s simple wish. And that wish was for him to love his fellow man and woman for who they were, in that moment and as they were. This quiet unassuming Episcopal priest trusted that God didn't make junk.
From his earliest childhood right through to middle age Ben lost everyone dear to him. The losses built one upon the other until he was finally alone in life and without family. The profound lesson that he finally learned and put in to practice was simple; spend time reliving a painful past, or fear that the uncertain future will bring you more of the same, is to continue to lose the only thing that we may ever really possess - the moment at hand. With this realization Father Ben vowed to change his ministry, to change his life, by being present to this fleeting moment at hand. And in these moments he generously offered his presence and his ability to listen, without judging, to those whom he came in contact with. By doing this he began to put an end to the loss and greatly add to the lives of others by being present to them. What an extraordinary gift Father Ben afforded us and to himself.
In 1965 my friend Ben created the Oratory, a retreat house, to receive people from all faiths and from no faiths at all. He offered them a space to just "be" – to just be at peace and at one with the Lord. Even though Ben passed away more than 20 years ago his spirit lives on through those of us who were privileged to have known and cherished him.
How Ben saw things...
“The Oratory is an Episcopal institution, but our ministry here is totally ecumenical. You come whoever you are and whatever you are. We do not care what church you go to or stay away from. We receive you as the unique person you are. We have had people from nearly all denominations and from none at all. What we ask is not what kind of religion you represent but whether or not you want to grow spiritually and, if you do, we are here to try and help.”
“Drop a pebble in a puddle and the pebble being small doesn’t make much of a splash, but the ripples go out to the very edge. When we work as we do with one person at a time, it might be asked, “What does that amount to?” Well, a great many of the people that come here are people that work with other people, such as clergy, school teachers and people like that. And they, themselves, tell us that what they get here they carry out with them in their work with other people. So, the ripples go out.”
“There are three relationships that I believe you can say are inescapable: relationship to self, relationship to other people — neighbors, call it what you like — and a relationship to God, call him what you like. If any one of those three relationships is unhealthy, the other two are going to be unhealthy as well. What we hope will happen here is that people will go away with all of those three relationships in a healthier state than they were in when they came.”
“We are very un-American in our disregard for statistics and numbers — we couldn’t care less. What we want to do is affect individual people. Granted, it’s necessary to effect groups too, but somebody’s got to take care of individuals.”
Father Benjamin R. Priest, 1903 – 1989
What I was so attracted to, so drawn to, almost 50 years ago, was someone who loved and trusted his God so deeply and so profoundly that he honored his Lord’s simple wish. And that wish was for him to love his fellow man and woman for who they were, in that moment and as they were. This quiet unassuming Episcopal priest trusted that God didn't make junk.
From his earliest childhood right through to middle age Ben lost everyone dear to him. The losses built one upon the other until he was finally alone in life and without family. The profound lesson that he finally learned and put in to practice was simple; spend time reliving a painful past, or fear that the uncertain future will bring you more of the same, is to continue to lose the only thing that we may ever really possess - the moment at hand. With this realization Father Ben vowed to change his ministry, to change his life, by being present to this fleeting moment at hand. And in these moments he generously offered his presence and his ability to listen, without judging, to those whom he came in contact with. By doing this he began to put an end to the loss and greatly add to the lives of others by being present to them. What an extraordinary gift Father Ben afforded us and to himself.
In 1965 my friend Ben created the Oratory, a retreat house, to receive people from all faiths and from no faiths at all. He offered them a space to just "be" – to just be at peace and at one with the Lord. Even though Ben passed away more than 20 years ago his spirit lives on through those of us who were privileged to have known and cherished him.
How Ben saw things...
“The Oratory is an Episcopal institution, but our ministry here is totally ecumenical. You come whoever you are and whatever you are. We do not care what church you go to or stay away from. We receive you as the unique person you are. We have had people from nearly all denominations and from none at all. What we ask is not what kind of religion you represent but whether or not you want to grow spiritually and, if you do, we are here to try and help.”
“Drop a pebble in a puddle and the pebble being small doesn’t make much of a splash, but the ripples go out to the very edge. When we work as we do with one person at a time, it might be asked, “What does that amount to?” Well, a great many of the people that come here are people that work with other people, such as clergy, school teachers and people like that. And they, themselves, tell us that what they get here they carry out with them in their work with other people. So, the ripples go out.”
“There are three relationships that I believe you can say are inescapable: relationship to self, relationship to other people — neighbors, call it what you like — and a relationship to God, call him what you like. If any one of those three relationships is unhealthy, the other two are going to be unhealthy as well. What we hope will happen here is that people will go away with all of those three relationships in a healthier state than they were in when they came.”
“We are very un-American in our disregard for statistics and numbers — we couldn’t care less. What we want to do is affect individual people. Granted, it’s necessary to effect groups too, but somebody’s got to take care of individuals.”
Father Benjamin R. Priest, 1903 – 1989